Dog and the Lottery

It was another good day for very god boy, Dog. The sun was shining, the air was alive with the songs of a hundred birds, and he had two separate chances to chase a squirrel. So it was in these good spirits that Dog received another errant prayer.

“Message addressed to you,” said the heavenly messenger with the soft white cap on their long blonde hair and expressionless face. They had appeared from seemingly nowhere, as they always did, and produced a note from a white canvas messenger bag detailed in gold and silver. They placed the note in Dog’s open mouth. “Have a blessed day,” said the angel without a trace of mirth on their face, before vanishing again.

Dog placed the message on the ground and used his snoot to open the paper to read it. “Plase Dog,” it read, “let thes numbres win teh loteri. 12 15 12 42 47 9. Thx”

This was very serious, thought Dog, This human with awful spelling was counting on him to bless a series of numbers so that he might gain tremendous wealth over all the other participants in the numbers game. Dog knew what he must do. He read the address of the petitioner from the note and, seeing that the human was several hundred miles away, Dog made for the nearest transit station and stowed away on a train headed in that direction.

The adventure was many hours long and filled with many tempting smells and soft hands made for perfect pets, but Dog remained resolute in his purpose. There would be time to indulge in delicious treats and good belly rubs when his duty was done.

He emerged practically within barking distance of his destination and took off in a great run. Finding the home with the address and without slowing his pace, Dog dove straight through the lowest window to the sound of shattering glass and screaming. Ignoring the loud voices that were increasingly becoming quite angry, Dog sniffed the air. Finding his mark, he bolted into another room and rushed up a set of stairs before breaking into the home office of a young man.

“What is this?!” he exclaimed despite not really expecting an answer.

Dog leapt past him onto his work desk and shove papers aside until he found the man’s lottery ticket. He took the scrap of paper into his mouth and tore it to shreds.

“No! Why?! That was my ticket to millions of dollars, you bad dog!” cried the man at Dog.

“The lottery is a tax on the poor!” barked Dog at the startled man.